The Ant and the Grasshopper

OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the Summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE ORIGINAL STORY: Be responsible for yourself!



MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the Summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled
with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then
has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call
for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act,"
retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to
pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal
judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens
to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house,now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once
peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican

This would be far more humorous if it wasn't true. :)

I'm a grad student at WVU and a conservative friend of mine dispersed this email via the department email address. It was soley meant as a light hearted joke about politics for everyone to get a laugh. Well that was until one professor took it as an insult. There's always one that ruins the joke. After this friend of mine and the professor exchanged heated emails it escalated. The professor went as far as saying Jesus was pro-abortion and was the "first great liberal". So the moral to this story is this joke may offend some super-liberals.

If any one would like to see the dialog between the two, let me know. I figured it was worth saving :)

There is no more fun thing to do in my opinion than to offend a liberal.

hehehehe...

How could you cold hearted conservatives be so callous to the plight of the poor grasshopper? This could only mean one thing....SPECIES-ISM! You discriminate because you are prejudiced against the grasshopper. I've always heard Jesse and Al say that the Repuplican Party was SPECIES-IST, but now this confirms it!! Wait until the Congressional Cockroach Caucus hears about this!!!

Saw a bumper sticker:
Annoy a Liberal, Work, Suceed, Be Happy

broncobill86,

Post the dialogue. It might be enlightening.

Dave :)

The emails are very long and there are many of them. If you would like a copy of the emails let me know and I'll send them to you as a Word document. The document is 9 pages long at 10pt font.

Bill

Here ya go! I changed the name to protect my fellow student. Unfortunately I had to change the professors email too as ot to get black-balled, as I am still a student too.

Bill