Florida Blessing

Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
Please keep it cool in mid-July.
Bless the walls where termites dine
While ants and roaches march in time.
Bless our yard where spiders pass
Fire ant castles in the grass.
Bless the garage, a home to please
Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
Bless the love bugs, two by two,
The gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
In FLORIDA, Lord, you've put them all!
But this is home, and here we'll stay,
So thank you Lord, for insect spray.

HOLD IT............there's more............

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN FLORIDA IN JULY WHEN. . . .

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
Ah, what a place to call home.God Bless Our State of FLORIDA!

Don't worry the Hurricaines are coming to blow it all that crap away ! My advice to the people of FLA. is MOVE FAST ! But then since you people can't even punch holes in paper ,maybe you better wait for the hurricanes ! JAGG

Don't worry the Hurricaines are coming to blow it all that crap away ! My advice to the people of FLA. is MOVE FAST ! But then since you people can't even punch holes in paper ,maybe you better wait for the hurricanes ! JAGG

Heck of a trade-off, but 20 below and shoveling a foot of snow isn't particularly attractive either. That's why we're in the North during the summer and South in the winter......and I assure you, we can punch holes in the paper and do so frequently at the indoor range....a lot easier than voting forms.

Dan

Dan - Sure that last one wasn't written by an Arizonian? :p

115* here today - hot, blast furnace wind. Only 5% humidity, so it was hard to break a sweat because of instant evaporation. Supposed to linger in this torpid state for the next 5 days - as far as they will forecast.

DOK, that doesn't classify as humor... it's a documentary :D

Been there, done that, escaped.....

kdub,
I know what you mean about the heat. I've been roasting for the past 2 weeks, we've been almost to 80*F. So hot its hard to sleep at night.
:p

Interesting post! Being a 6th generation Florida Cracker....I keep thinking all this will send the Non-Crackers back to where they came from!...........James

95 and 100 percent humidity If you aren't sweating you aren't outside... nothing like summer in MN. And 6 months it'll be -40 and 0% humidity... now if we could just get some snow, winters wouldnt' be bad at all...

Interesting post! Being a 6th generation Florida Cracker....I keep thinking all this will send the Non-Crackers back to where they came from!...........James

James, come the 1st of May, most of the non-crackers in our area are long gone, but come November, we sneak back in. You're gonna have to watch the back door a little better.

Dan "fair weather friend" O. K.

DOK........Where do you come down to? If it is close to Old Town let me know and I will work up a hog hunt for you.......James

James,

We're at Lake Placid, which in turn is about 15 miles south of Sebring. I would estimate about 150 miles south of your area Gainesville area. I'll get a hold of you some time this winter and see what would be convenient. Thanks for the offer.

Dan

Dan.......By all means do that! My first cousin came by last night to let me know he had sold out down in Sumter County and bought a little over 1400 acres up near Marianna......I will be spending some time in the Fall up there, but if I know when you have some time I would like to so you some old Florida along the Suwannee River.........James

Dan.......By all means do that! My first cousin came by last night to let me know he had sold out down in Sumter County and bought a little over 1400 acres up near Marianna......I will be spending some time in the Fall up there, but if I know when you have some time I would like to so you some old Florida along the Suwannee River.........James

James, sounds great, look forward to it.

Dan