All true!!!! Hope you guys enjoy it! :D

Recall Notice

The Maker of all human beings, is recalling all units manufactured,
regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and
central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named
Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all
subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed, "Subsequential Internal
Non-morality", or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily
expressed.

Some other symptoms:

1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish, or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect,
is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to
correct this SIN defect.

The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the
entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no
additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once
connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE
procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus,
into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it
with:

1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers Instructions
Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction
voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and
problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being
permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on JESUS.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will
have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be
permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that
facility.

Thank you for your immediate attention.

:D ... Ain't it the the truth?!

God bless,
Joshua Smith

Well done! Amen.

God bless,

A very good and welcome addition to any forum.

Lee L.

Thank you for your very nice replies!

I knew it would be warmly received here, as everyone around here seems to share the values of true Americans.

Thanks a lot guys!

God bless,
Joshua Smith

Thank you for your very nice replies!

I knew it would be warmly received here, as everyone around here seems to share the values of true Americans.

Thanks a lot guys!

God bless,
Joshua Smith

Joshua,
this still being the United States of America, and me being at last check born and raised here thus a"true American" found this rather un-funny and your assertion that those of us who find bald faced proselytizing an assault on our rights not to forced into a religion as guaranteed by the US Constitution in the Establishment Clause.

Gentlemen, picking and choosing which parts of our Constitution you will and will not uphold is THE SURESt way to kill it. If you wish to save one amendment, protect them all.

FORCED? Nowhere do I see a "sign up or else"
statement.
He has the same right to post it as you do to ignore it.
NO, I am not a practicing christian.

Geezzz folks, we need to really lighten up.....it's humor and not intended to overthrow the constitution or citizen's rights.

Dan

C'mon guys -

Let's not take things in the Humor forum as personal. It's all in the spirit of fun - a little humor to lighten the day.

If you don't like something posted here, just ignore it and go on to the next forum - PLEASE!!! :rolleyes:

Joshua,
this still being the United States of America, and me being at last check born and raised here thus a"true American" found this rather un-funny and your assertion that those of us who find bald faced proselytizing an assault on our rights not to forced into a religion as guaranteed by the US Constitution in the Establishment Clause.

Gentlemen, picking and choosing which parts of our Constitution you will and will not uphold is THE SURESt way to kill it. If you wish to save one amendment, protect them all.

C'mon Michael. Let's not do this.

Noone is forcing you to be anything. Why do you consider the simple action of someone professing their faith to be someone trying to force you into it?

Just as it is you're right to express your beliefs, or lack there of, it is our right to express ours. That *is* in the Constitution.

It really saddens me to see so much aggressiveness and paranoia expressed nowadays.

I kindly ask you, sir, to stop this pointless argument of "my beliefs are better than yours" and simply ignore the things you don't like and let us belive what we wish to believe.

Fair enough, pal?

Thank you.

May God bless you, pal.

God bless,
Joshua Smith

As administrator and owner of these boards, I find it incredulous that anyone would consider reading any post on these forums a cumpulsory act is beyond me!

It is a free country, and no violation of the establishment clause of the constitution or its amendments has been committed here. This is a privately owned and operateed forum receiving no taxpayer funds for its support, therefore, by definition there is no "establishment" issue here, as this is not a function of the government.

If someone doesn't agree with a post on these forums, he's welcome to skip reading it. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord! As for my business we will honor Him who created us, and from whom all blessings flow.

I encourage those persons who profess their faith in Jesus Christ as their personal savior to openly share their faith, their Christian experience, and to do so with freedom from personal attack by those with differing faiths, veiwpoints or convictions.

Now, if anyone has a problem with the views, purpose or policies on these forums I guess you're welcome to email me at marshall@beartoothbullets.com be advised the way I look at it is this: I pay the bills therefore the rules are mine!

Thanks to all who share so freely to make this the rich resource it has become, and a refuge for morality and decency in a morally bankrupt world!

Be blessed in the Grace of The Lord!

WOW!!!!
I found Joshua's article very nice. I see no reason this should or ever could be found offensive by anyone. I do not know why Michael opened up this way, Maybe pent up confusion. A little venting maybe. That is allright. God will understand. I thank Joshua for posting ad here. Me and my entire family enjoyed it. As everyone said, If you do not agree with what you read, Just skip it. Remember " different strokes. for different folks." God bless Steve

I'm very glad you guys liked it!

I'm so surprised that someone could've gotten so upset over this...oh well...it's his problem and not ours.

I'm glad you guys enjoyed and I thank you, Mr. Stanton, very much for your support.

I'm overjoyed to see that this forum is in such good hands! :)

God bless,
Joshua Smith

Yes, I did type that one off rather quickly and without a second edit. My issue is that If I were to profess being an athiest, I would be under immediate attack. I got hammered for capitalization once as silly as that sounds because someone took issue with what or whom did and did not get capitalized.
Plain and simple, my sincerest hope is that people follow their own beliefs and allow others the same courtesy. I do not wish to simply pass over any one person's posts simply because it might be an unpaid ad for christianity, hinduism, islam or catholicism. My reasoning behind this is that I have found the posters here to be an informed bunch and I figure I can learn something from them given the time.

I was raised a Catholic and studied the other three I mentioned out of sheer curiousity. I found much to admire in all four, but there were recurring themes in each, bred of intolerance to the "other" that often led to war.

Mr. Stanton, I appreciate very much your time and effort here to build and maintain this forum. Likewise, I appreciate the jobs the moderators do in riding herd here. This is a fine site and provides answers to questions I didn't even know I had a lot of the time.

We may not see eye to eye on theology gentlemen, but we seem to on some aspects of the U.S. Constitution. I sincerely hope we could agree that it is a document to be preserved intact and complete, from word one to the last period.

I realize that what was originally posted was intended as a joke, but the suggestion that unbelievers are defective and subject to "recall" to burn in heck is that same sort of thought that spawns what people refer to now as hate crimes. Some would say to edit yourself and know your audience. I think the best idea would be to know that there are people out there who do not agree with the aggressive spread of religion and its negative effects and are willing to stand up for their belief "that all men are created equal", even if we don't go to your church, mosque or synagogue.

The first draft should have said this. I apologize that it did not. I was not pressed for time this morning like I was the other day.

Fishing in Prince William Sound was excellent yesterday. Sea-run silver salmon (Coho, to the lower 48ers) are a blast on light tackle.

Michael,

Written like a gentleman.

Dan

Yes, I did type that one off rather quickly and without a second edit. My issue is that If I were to profess being an athiest, I would be under immediate attack. I got hammered for capitalization once as silly as that sounds because someone took issue with what or whom did and did not get capitalized.
Plain and simple, my sincerest hope is that people follow their own beliefs and allow others the same courtesy. I do not wish to simply pass over any one person's posts simply because it might be an unpaid ad for christianity, hinduism, islam or catholicism. My reasoning behind this is that I have found the posters here to be an informed bunch and I figure I can learn something from them given the time.

I was raised a Catholic and studied the other three I mentioned out of sheer curiousity. I found much to admire in all four, but there were recurring themes in each, bred of intolerance to the "other" that often led to war.

Mr. Stanton, I appreciate very much your time and effort here to build and maintain this forum. Likewise, I appreciate the jobs the moderators do in riding herd here. This is a fine site and provides answers to questions I didn't even know I had a lot of the time.

We may not see eye to eye on theology gentlemen, but we seem to on some aspects of the U.S. Constitution. I sincerely hope we could agree that it is a document to be preserved intact and complete, from word one to the last period.

I realize that what was originally posted was intended as a joke, but the suggestion that unbelievers are defective and subject to "recall" to burn in heck is that same sort of thought that spawns what people refer to now as hate crimes. Some would say to edit yourself and know your audience. I think the best idea would be to know that there are people out there who do not agree with the aggressive spread of religion and its negative effects and are willing to stand up for their belief "that all men are created equal", even if we don't go to your church, mosque or synagogue.

The first draft should have said this. I apologize that it did not. I was not pressed for time this morning like I was the other day.

Fishing in Prince William Sound was excellent yesterday. Sea-run silver salmon (Coho, to the lower 48ers) are a blast on light tackle.

Much better, Michael. :)

Yes religion did create conflict in the world but so did the lack of it as well. Fortunately, however, we gave *evolved* since then, sir. I can't say that for all the religions out there, but at least for the one in question.

Believe what you want to believe and I'll believe what I want to believe, and both of us should be able to freely express it without having someone be "offended" and with respect... (Sheesh, I hate that P.C. crap :rolleyes: )

The devout in my religion, that of Roman Catholicism, do not get offended, in a sense, we simply get annoyed and saddened by the amount of uninformed voices. We try our best to inform those that mock us or even hate us, but in the end, it all comes down to what you wish to or refuse to believe.

Bottom Line, Michael: Believe what you want to believe and I'll believe what I want to believe with a degree of respect. As simple as that.

May God bless you, sir. :)

God bless,
Joshua Smith

OK, folks - enough explaination -

Let's get on with the humor section as it should be.