Most of us have learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessary part
of our daily lives. But have you ever wondered what it would be like if God
decided to install voice mail?
Imagine that you are praying....... and you hear the following:
Thank you for calling Heaven.. Please select on of the following options.
Press 1 for requests
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all other inquiries
I am sorry, all of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners
right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in
the order that it was received. Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1
For Jesus, press 2
For the Holy Spirit, press 3
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are
holding, press 4.
To find a loved one who has been assigned to Heaven, please press 5,
then enter his or her social security number followed by the pound sign. If
you get a negative response, please hang up and try area code 666.
For reservations in Heaven please enter J-O-H-N followed by the
numbers 3-1-6.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the
earth, life on other planets and the location of Noah's Ark, please
wait until you arrive.
Our computers show that you have already prayed once today, so please hang
up and try again tomorrow.
This office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious
holiday.
Please pray again on Monday after 9:30 a.m.
However, if you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance,
please contact your local priest or pastor.
*******
Isn't it comforting to know that, for each of us, the line is never
busy.