This is a story about a couple who had been happily
married for years.

The only friction in their marriage was the husband's
habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make
her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping
them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had
put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and
all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband
was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his
usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and thesound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his
face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two
fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

That is nasty!!

That's sick!
I'm still laughing! :D

that is bad , but funny oh man

I'll never,ever eat giblet gravy again :eek:

I'll never,ever eat giblet gravy again :eek:

*LAUGHING MYSELF SILLY* Thank you Fullchoke!
Another reason not to eat giblets!!!

were the giblets really that different before?

I used to work at a sawmill and one of my fellow workers came to work with a couple of black eyes, swolen lips and a multi-tude of bruses.

I was sitting eating lunch and some of my co-workers were asking him if he had been involved in a bar brawl.

Now this fella was about six feet tall and working in the sawmill handling lumber all day hadn't made him fat.

His wife he explained was a big girl tipping the scales at about 275 pounds. He said he was lying in bed and decided to pass some gas so he threw his legs in the air and cut loose.

It appears there was more than gas and he messed the bed and his wife's new sheet up pretty badly.

The black eyes and bruseing came as a result of her not being very happy with him. The end result was he had decided to take any such business to the appropriate room from then on.

This is a true story and I do get a chuckle every time I think of it.

Unfortunately, most women don't appreciate the totally free entertainment that farting provides. :D

My wife fails to see the entertainment value in it as well.

I laughed so hard that I almost peed my pants. Oh my gosh that was hillarious .

My little Missus is not amune too letting one rip now and then. (it's the Iowan part I'm sure) She thought this story to be quite funny. Excellant story jb.

Mom would kill me if she knew what i was about to type, when I was younger, probably somewhere between 12 and 16 we were in the living room folding socks.Now, there are 4 boys, plus Dad and no girls but Mom, so she has this complex about being outnumbered so she made sure we all got (more than) our fair share of household chores, so we are folding socks and she is sitting on the floor supervising and she lets one RIP, it shook the floor, she will never ever live that one down. And since I told one on her, I figure I better come clean about my own shot heard round the world, I was at friends wedding rehersal, and it was a different setup as the rehersal dinner was held first, well the dinner was held about 30 to 45 min from the rehersal site, well something wasn't sitting well with me and I started to develop a case of painful gas, hoping for a little relief when we got to the church I was starting to get worried when they decided to jump right into the rehersal, so we get started, all the while I am wishing for a quick death. It got to the point where something had to be done. we were practicing our entrances, coming from the room in the front corner, there was a stairwell in the back of the room, behind the front of the sanctuary, so I snuck down the stairs and released my burden and snuck back up to the group, well, darn if the repercussions didn't follow me right up the stairs, the room was evacuted quite rapidly and I don't think anyone went in for the rest of the night. Some of the guys swore they could still smell it the next day.

Remind me not to let you eat my hunting camp elk chili :o