DOK
01-16-2006, 04:56 PM
These are the fifteen immutable laws of the universe. They, since time
immemorial, have remained unbroken.
(1) The law of Mechanical Repair: As soon as your hands become coated with
grease or oil, you will immediately have to scratch, blow your nose or go to
the bathroom.
(2) The law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll or slide to
the nearest inaccessible place.
(3) The law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number you will never
get a busy signal.
(4) Law of the Alibi: If you tell your boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, within three days while on your way to work, you will
have a flat tire.
(5) Law of traffic variation: If you change lanes in a traffic jam, the lane
you were in will immediately begin to move faster than the one you moved
into.
(6) Bath Theorem: When the naked body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings.
(7) Law of Close encounters: If there is anyone anywhere that you do not
want to meet when you are with someone you do not wish to be seen with, you
will.
(8) Law of inverse results: When you are trying to prove to someone that a
machine will not work properly, it will.
(9) Law of biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the length of your reach.
(10) Theatre rule: At any important event, the people whose seats are
farthest from the aisle always arrive last
.
(11) Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a hot cup of coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something that will last until your coffee is cold.
(12) Murphy's law of lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
(13) Law of dirty carpets: The odds of a dropped open-faced jelly sandwich
landing face down on a carpet is determined by the quality, cost and newness
of the carpet.
(14) Law of logical argument: Anything is possible if you do not know what
you are talking about.
(15) Brown's new shoe law: If a shoe fits perfectly, its ugly.
immemorial, have remained unbroken.
(1) The law of Mechanical Repair: As soon as your hands become coated with
grease or oil, you will immediately have to scratch, blow your nose or go to
the bathroom.
(2) The law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll or slide to
the nearest inaccessible place.
(3) The law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number you will never
get a busy signal.
(4) Law of the Alibi: If you tell your boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, within three days while on your way to work, you will
have a flat tire.
(5) Law of traffic variation: If you change lanes in a traffic jam, the lane
you were in will immediately begin to move faster than the one you moved
into.
(6) Bath Theorem: When the naked body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings.
(7) Law of Close encounters: If there is anyone anywhere that you do not
want to meet when you are with someone you do not wish to be seen with, you
will.
(8) Law of inverse results: When you are trying to prove to someone that a
machine will not work properly, it will.
(9) Law of biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the length of your reach.
(10) Theatre rule: At any important event, the people whose seats are
farthest from the aisle always arrive last
.
(11) Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a hot cup of coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something that will last until your coffee is cold.
(12) Murphy's law of lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
(13) Law of dirty carpets: The odds of a dropped open-faced jelly sandwich
landing face down on a carpet is determined by the quality, cost and newness
of the carpet.
(14) Law of logical argument: Anything is possible if you do not know what
you are talking about.
(15) Brown's new shoe law: If a shoe fits perfectly, its ugly.