Tom in NC
08-01-2002, 05:21 PM
For those that wonder how Enron and Worldcom get away with it all, let me illustrate how it works down south:
Bubba needs a new stud bull for his cows. Jim Bob, who owns the adjacent farm happens to have a stud bull for sale. The two get together over a jug of crystal joy and hammer out a deal. Bubba hands over $200 and Jim Bob agrees to deliver the stud bull to Bubba the next day.
While enroute to Bubba's place, Jim Bob runs his truck into the irragation ditch, the bull slap falls out of the truck and gets killed! Well, after managing to load the bull back into the bed of the truck, he continues on to give Bubba the bad news.
Upon seeing the bull's carcass in the truck and hearing Jim Bob's tale of woe, Bubba scratches his ***, spits some 'bacca and slowly shakes his head. "Well", he says, "ya'll jis gimme ma money back an I'll see if'n I ken fine me anotha one at the county far t'morra."
"Cain't do that Bubba", says Jim Bob, "the wife's already done spent that $200 on the indoor outhouse!". Now, Bubba and Jim Bob been tradin most of their lives and this little problem weren't no big thang.
"Well", says Bubba, "You jis load thet there daid bull into the back of my pickemup and we'll call it even". Now Bubba and Jim Bob had been good friends for a long time, but Jim Bob was dumbstruck! "Watch gonna do with a daid bull Bubba?"
"I'm gonna raffle him off at the County Far". Jim Bob thought Bubba may have been in that jug of lightnin a little early today but wasn't about to question him anymore on the subject. So he just loaded the bull into Bubba's truck and left, thanking Gawd that his posterior and hisself was still connected and in the same county!
Two days later, Jim Bob visits Bubba and asks how he done with the "daid bull raffle". "Ah, done a pert fair piece o bidness. I sold 100 raffle tickets at $10 a piece". Jim Bob was truly amazed! "Who on earth would would pay $10 for a daid bull Bubba?"
"Well, I didn't tell nobody it was daid Jim Bob. I ain't no fool!" "Well, **** Bubba, didn't nobody git mad when they found out?"
"Why sure, the guy who won it saw it was dead as a door nail and he was plenty mad but I jist give him his $10 back and an extry five for his trouble and was just fine and wanted to know when I was goin to have another raffle!"
Now Bubba turned a $785 profit on this dead bull, Jim Bob got to keep his $200 and the "winner" made $5 on his $10 investment. The other 99 purchasers of the raffle tickets footed the tab and most, if not all, are not aware of what took place. And that, folks, is how simple manipulation of the market and accounting figures can make rich men richer and poor men poorer! If you play the market, play it wisely. There is no free ride. If it looks too good, take a closer look.
Bubba needs a new stud bull for his cows. Jim Bob, who owns the adjacent farm happens to have a stud bull for sale. The two get together over a jug of crystal joy and hammer out a deal. Bubba hands over $200 and Jim Bob agrees to deliver the stud bull to Bubba the next day.
While enroute to Bubba's place, Jim Bob runs his truck into the irragation ditch, the bull slap falls out of the truck and gets killed! Well, after managing to load the bull back into the bed of the truck, he continues on to give Bubba the bad news.
Upon seeing the bull's carcass in the truck and hearing Jim Bob's tale of woe, Bubba scratches his ***, spits some 'bacca and slowly shakes his head. "Well", he says, "ya'll jis gimme ma money back an I'll see if'n I ken fine me anotha one at the county far t'morra."
"Cain't do that Bubba", says Jim Bob, "the wife's already done spent that $200 on the indoor outhouse!". Now, Bubba and Jim Bob been tradin most of their lives and this little problem weren't no big thang.
"Well", says Bubba, "You jis load thet there daid bull into the back of my pickemup and we'll call it even". Now Bubba and Jim Bob had been good friends for a long time, but Jim Bob was dumbstruck! "Watch gonna do with a daid bull Bubba?"
"I'm gonna raffle him off at the County Far". Jim Bob thought Bubba may have been in that jug of lightnin a little early today but wasn't about to question him anymore on the subject. So he just loaded the bull into Bubba's truck and left, thanking Gawd that his posterior and hisself was still connected and in the same county!
Two days later, Jim Bob visits Bubba and asks how he done with the "daid bull raffle". "Ah, done a pert fair piece o bidness. I sold 100 raffle tickets at $10 a piece". Jim Bob was truly amazed! "Who on earth would would pay $10 for a daid bull Bubba?"
"Well, I didn't tell nobody it was daid Jim Bob. I ain't no fool!" "Well, **** Bubba, didn't nobody git mad when they found out?"
"Why sure, the guy who won it saw it was dead as a door nail and he was plenty mad but I jist give him his $10 back and an extry five for his trouble and was just fine and wanted to know when I was goin to have another raffle!"
Now Bubba turned a $785 profit on this dead bull, Jim Bob got to keep his $200 and the "winner" made $5 on his $10 investment. The other 99 purchasers of the raffle tickets footed the tab and most, if not all, are not aware of what took place. And that, folks, is how simple manipulation of the market and accounting figures can make rich men richer and poor men poorer! If you play the market, play it wisely. There is no free ride. If it looks too good, take a closer look.