Arkansas Hunting Trip as it really happens.


1:00 am. Alarm clock rings.
2:00 am. Hunting Partners drag you out of bed.
2:30 am Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the pick-up.
3:00 am. Leave for the deep woods.
3:15 am. Drive home and pick up gun.
3:30 am. Drive like **** to get to the woods before daylight.
4:00 am. Set up Camp.--Forgot Tent!
4:30 am. Head into the woods.
6:05 am See 8 Deer.
6:06 am. Take Aim and squeeze trigger.
6:08 am. Load gun while watching Deer go over the hill.
8:00 am. Head back to Camp.
9:00 am. Still looking for Camp.
10:00 am. Realize you don’t know where Camp is.
NOON Fire gun for Help. -- Eat wild Berries.
12:15 pm. Run out of bullets. -- 8 Deer come back.
12:20 pm. Strange feeling in Stomach.
12:30 pm. Realize you ate poison Berries.
12:45 pm. Rescued.
12:55 pm. Rushed to Hospital to have Stomach Pumped.
3:00 pm. Arrived back at Camp.
3:30 pm. Leave Camp to kill Deer.
4:00 pm. Return to camp for Bullets.
4:01 pm. Leave Camp again.
5:00 pm. Empty gun on birds that are bugging you.
6:00 pm. Arrive at Camp. -- See deer grazing at Camp.
6:01 pm. Load Gun.
6:02 pm. Fire Gun.
6;03 pm. One Dead Pick-up Truck.
6:05 pm. Hunting partner returns to Camp dragging Deer.
6:06 pm. Repress strong desire to shoot hunting partner.
6:15 pm Take Pick-up, Leave partner and his deer in the woods.
6:25 pm. Pick-up boils over. -- Hole shot in block.
6:26 pm. Start Walking.
6:30 pm. Stumble and fall. -- Drop gun in the mud.
6:35 pm. Meet Bobcat.
6:36 pm. Take Aim.
6:37 pm. Fire Gun - Blow up barrel. (Plugged with mud.)
6:38 pm. #@*#&@ Pants.
6:39 pm. Climb Tree.
9:00 pm. Bobcat departs. -- Wrap #@*&#@ Gun around tree.
MIDNIGHT Home at last!!!!!