I thought a thread with everyone's funniest hunting stories might be interesting, if we could keep the stories short enough.

Back when I was in college, a bunch of us decided to head out one fall morning for some duck hunting in southeastern Colorado. There was a big earthen dam about an hours drive away and we got there just about sunrise.
By midafternoon, the last of us bagged his limit, and we started off on the walk back to where we had parked. We had to cross a big field below the dam, and there was a lot of low cover, so we spread out in a line about 30 feet apart as we walked in case we scared anything up.
About halfway across the field one of the guys way down the line from me started shooting. When I looked his way all I could make out was that he was hopping around and shooting down into the dirt at his feet, yelling something. Everyone ran his way to see what was happening.
By the time I got there, his shotgun was empty, but he was still hopping around. When he settled down, there was half of a rattlesnake (the front half) stuck to his leg, the fangs having gone through his jeans and into his cowboy boot, but never piercing his skin.
The rest of the snake lay in several pieces all around him. How he managed to blast that snake while it was whipping around while he jumped around and basically shot at his foot, I don't know. How he managed to miss his foot with each shot I don't know either.
We were all laughing so hard tears were running down our faces as he called us every name in the book until he started laughing too. We got the fangs disengaged from his boot and gathered up what was left of the tail.
That night the bunch of cooked up a nice duck dinner with a little rattlesnake meat on the side. And yes, it does taste like chicken.

Several years ago, my two buddies and I went deer hunting together. The day was cold and windy so everyone had heavy clothes on. We all met back at my truck at lunch and crawled in the cab together to try to warm up with the truck heater. As we sat there we became overcome by the horrible smell of human poop. I began to look around to make sure no one had stepped in something. Finally, one of my buddies couldn't stand it anymore and demanded to know what stunck so bad. Wayne, the guy in the middle finally confessed that it was him that smelled like poop. It seemed that during the morning, Wayne had had to stop and use the bathroom. When he dropped his overalls, they fell back between his legs and he filled the neck of them up with you know what. It was so cold he could not take them off so he just had to scape it out the best he could. Needless to say, we made him get out of the truck and take the overalls off. As we used to say, just another chapter in the BOOK OF WAYNE.

I have a bud that dropped his hat one morning while taking his morning constitutional. You guessed it. He filled his hat. He just left it there. I didn't go back for it later either.

well why we are on the subject of funny hunting stories and going number 2 i think i will share this one with you. When i was in texas in january hunting some whitetails after sitting at a feeder in the morning my guide said we might try some rattling after we got out of the blind. As soon as i got out of the blind i told my guy that there was a little brown snake well if i recall correctly a big brown snake playing pee-a-boo with my butthole. He said yeah yeah okay whatever. Then he started walking north, well of course i followed him and he then says let's try some rattlin' well i wanted to shoot a buck so i said ok sure whatever. We did 3 count um 3 sets of about 15 minutes each then i reminded my guide of my much bowl movement he asked me if i had any toliet paper, well i didn't surprise surprise he didn't have any either. After chewing this over for a few minutes he said oh we can go to this cabin across the hill. he said well let's hope that it isn't locked. Well it turns out that it was a big hill and a lot of walking but finally after 3 hours after first having to go i got my tp found a bush and oh what a relief. That was a show of will power and i would have gone sooner but there is nothing natural in the part of texas that i was hunting in that you would want to wipe that sensitive area with on account of everything is sharp so i just trudged on. Moral of the story always carry TP

I don't have to take laxative when I am constipated. I just go put all my hunting gear and chest waders on. Guaranteed to make the old bowels active.